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ヒマ 

I'm Ces, formerly sakura_041888 , and this is my new journal. I'm mainly a lurker in the communities I frequent in, so I'm really sorry if I don't bring forth downloads or anything for your pleasure. D:

As of October 17, 2011, this blog will be half-public, half-private. Posts done in public will be punctuated with the Japanese word ミツル    ("mitsuru") and will mostly consist of my essays and concert reports. Posts done in private will be marked with ヒミツ    ("himitsu" = secret) and will mostly consist of RL and private stuff.

Please do leave a comment if you want to be friends - don't worry I don't bite. :)

Layout: refutare
Double Art mood icons: Komi Naoshi (original manga work), himitsuru
Katekyo Hitman Reborn mood icons: Akira Amano (original manga work), nanabbang

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今ばしょで: home
感じる: amusedamused
聞いている歌: Mune ga Doki Doki - High Lows
 
 
ヒマ 

Second Arashi concert, and my first in Tokyo.


I normally don't write concert reports for Arashi because I figured a lot of people are already doing them and I feel really unworthy as a fan (I didn't write any report for Japonism; I don't go for multiple shows nor do I pay close attention / have their music on repeat as much as I do for NEWS), but there were circumstances this year that made this experience worth documenting, and I want to have this report written down so that if ever I fall down into the depths of despair once again, I would remember how I felt during these past few days and be saved over and over again. Sounds like an exaggeration, but it's true.

Since September I started battling work, personal and health mental issues. It all started with two blunders at work - and because I don't normally cause blunders nor do I encounter situations like those, I started doubting my capability. As much as everyone else tried to reassure me that everybody makes mistakes, I was not consoled at all - until the ballot results for Untitled came. To be frank, I had even forgotten I applied, so it was a happy surprise to find that I had hit for my second Arashi concert - and to make it even more special, I had hit for the show on Aiba's birthday on Christmas Eve. Before the ballot results came, I was on the verge of booking a sudden trip home to take time off, but receiving the ballot results mail, I resolved to hang in there for 2-3 more months until the concert. It wasn't easy especially for the month of December (the same month I was officially diagnosed with work adjustment disorder and depression), but I managed to hang on.


Just a bit before the concert...Collapse )


So since I have quite a poor memory of what happened, I will only be writing about the songs / parts that I can vividly remember!


Looking into "Untitled"...Collapse )


After the concert I had to run for Narita again so I said goodbye to my friend momentarily (because we would be seeing each other again in Cebu, anyway). It was indeed a great concert and a great way to spend Christmas Eve - though it was kind of a pain to get home, with all other couples who had romantic Christmas Eves.

On the way home, I kept on thinking about the messages during the narrative bits of the concert, and remembered how they were all speaking of meetings, departures, fate, and meaning in them. It made me think about my own life and how I've met so many people - people who had hurt me, people who became my friends OL and RL, people who came and left, and people who changed my life for good. I'm very thankful especially for Arashi - because despite them not knowing who I am personally, they had made my life take a positive turn. For the past two days I was in Tokyo, I managed NOT to take my antidepressants, which is saying something - I didn't need to rely on any medicine for me to feel better, because Arashi's presence was enough for me to forget my depression. They might be "small" or "trivial" things, but this concert made me realize that they had played an important and crucial part in my "survival", and by realizing this, their presence isn't something "small" nor "trivial". For making me come this far, for helping me out in times when I was down, I am immensely grateful, and thankful for the five of them.

May I never forget "untitled".
 
 
今ばしょで: Cebu
感じる: indescribableindescribable
聞いている歌: Arashi - Mikan
 
 
ヒマ 


Finally I've come to fulfill my promise.


Prelude to my The Green MileCollapse )


The Green Mile: Highlights and ReactionsCollapse )


After the play all of us filled out a survey, and since my Japanese is still weak I half-filled it with English.
I was able to catch the night bus back to Hiroshima, and that was the only negative thing about this trip actually, forcing myself to sleep in my seat without having the freedom to recline my seat. I'm not sure if I will be able to take the bus again for trips like these, but Green Mile will definitely not be my last NEWS - or Shige - play. :)
 
 
今ばしょで: Hiroshima
感じる: mellowmellow
聞いている歌: Jay-R Siaboc and Yeng Constantino - Himala
 
 
ヒマ 


Neverland will always be in our hearts, and will always continue forever.

I guess everyone who has been following the tour already know how the final show made headlines. I won't be commenting much about Tegoshi's issues e.g. scandals, but as we all know and admit by now, the recent events did play a major part in his drastic behavior during the shows. I did mention in my last concert report how he wasn't acting like his usual "idol" self i.e. the annoying, prankster, spoiled brat self he always puts on not only on tour documentaries, but also on tv. As sad as it was, this tour allowed us to see a side of him we very rarely see, and for that Neverland will always remain a memorable live for me.

I flew to Tokyo days before the concert so that I could spend those days travelling with my best friend to some of the nearby prefectures. But on the Saturday before the concert, I was quite pissed because we had met with a previous student and since the catch-up conversations dragged on for so long, we were only able to finish at 2 in the morning. Very obviously, the trains had stopped running by this time, so my best friend and I had to go walk all the way from Shimbashi to Bakurocho. I didn't even know why I didn't have the guts to call a taxi, for heaven's sake. In the end we arrived in our hostel at 3, and my feet were so sore I could barely walk straight, much more take a shower and change. So it was no wonder that I woke up with my entire body feeling sore at around 8. We had to wake up earlier than usual because we were to hear mass at Yotsuya and I had to prep myself for the concert before going. In the end I had to go back to the hostel anyway because 1) it looked like it was about to rain and I forgot my umbrella; 2) the escalator "ate" my pants so I had to clean them up a bit, and; 3) the humidity rendered my hair useless so I had to go fix it again, and put on the concert accessories I had forgotten. Though feeling a bit angry at myself, I soon cheered up the moment I was on my way to the venue - because you know, I'm seeing NEWS.

Personally I have to say, during this tour I was happy I was able to meet more friends and even make new ones! From the I arrived at the dome about 15:30, I was swamped left and right with Line / Twitter messages to the point that my Line application crashed and I had to resort to messaging / mentioning people on Twitter so that I could tell them where I was. We took a lot of pictures, talked about a lot of stuff, fangirled over some moments and squealed over how each of us looked cute and how we were all prepped for the concert.

At last it was time for us to go into the dome, and so we went our separate ways. This was where we were seated, near the entrance of Gate 20.


Not the best shot, but we still got a nice view.


From the very start of the concert I kept on warning the friend beside me that I would be crying like hell, since I've heard that Koyama and Massu were crying the day before - the former during Full Swing, and the latter during U R Not Alone.

Oh, but even with this knowledge in hand, and even though I braced myself, nothing prepared me for the waterworks that would happen in the next three hours.

Absolutely nothing.

[2017.06.11] Tokyo Dome, 18:00Collapse )




There is no doubt that NEVERLAND is an emotional tour for 4nin NEWS - perhaps the second (or third) most emotional one after Utsukushii Koi ni Suru Yo and the 10th anniversary tour.

For these past few months, NEWS had encountered so many setbacks, mostly happening to KoyaTego. Of course, there was also that incident with Shige's loss of voice, but perhaps the biggest thing that had hit them were the LINE scandals. Both KoyaTego's LINE accounts had been hacked and exposed, and with this loss of confidentiality, they have earned the ire of many antis, but not without reason. Both accounts had revealed the existence of girls in their private time, and for Tegoshi there was also that issue of him giving away "free" concert tickets. While these issues raised some valid points, the contrasting way KoyaTego handled these were quite interesting to see. Koyama had preferred to stay silent, but Tegoshi took to explain things both on jweb and in public (he apologized to people during one of the shows). Regardless, there is no doubt that these scandals had affected both members, and that there were a few people who have taken this offense very seriously, like the anon discussion forms, or reports of hate uchiwas being brought to the shows.

And now that the tour is over, these are my personal thoughts, especially in regards to my personal life.

NEWS as a picture of resilience, pride, and inspiration.Collapse )




If you actually managed to read all this way, I apologize for the extremely long concert report, lol. Otsukare for getting this far, and thank you! See you for the next live.
 
 
今ばしょで: Hiroshima
感じる: happyhappy
聞いている歌: NEWS - U R Not Alone
 
 
ヒマ 

So, my NEWS date 3 of 4! Sorry it took me so long to finish up Hiroshima; I had to fly to Tokyo earlier than usual this time around (flew out Wednesday before the con instead of the usual Friday) and with work in between, I wasn't able to do a proper report. Most of the things for this leg were similar to Fukuoka's anyway so there won't be anything much here, except perhaps for the arena vs dome differences I have recently noticed.

The primary thing that got me mostly excited with this leg was the fact that I am finally seeing NEWS within a few walking blocks from my apartment, so I could bike to the venue and get ready without having to worry about being late. NEWS in my city asdfghjkl;asldkfja, haha. I ended up biking to the arena Friday night and was ecstatic seeing the NEWS trucks parked at the back. :D

I didn't go to the Saturday and Sunday noon shows (because I had to go work an hour away on Saturday and I opted to give my ticket to a friend for Sunday), but both times I hung around the venue for a while and was just grinning ear-to-ear seeing all the fans that had come this far. For Sunday I met with my friends before they went in for the noon show and had a bit of a brunch with them as well.

Another thing that got me all hyped up for the Hiroshima leg was the fact that I had hit for four arena tickets! We were somewhere in the D block - and we were elated to see how close we were! We're a bit away from the center, but only a row of seats separated us from the small aisle where NEWS were to go on the carts.

As usual I won't be commenting in detail on each song (especially if I had already done that in my Fukuoka report - and the setlist is pretty much the same anyway!), so just very briefly, here goes!

[2017.06.04] Hiroshima Green Arena, 18:00Collapse )




Sometime in the middle of the concert (I can't remember now where, though I'm pretty sure it's was before the MC), there were some members who passed by in front of us - Tegoshi and Shige, I think? I was very amused when my friend had a bonding moment with the girl in front us screaming "YABAI" at each other XDDD

Another friend of mine had noticed beforehand that Tegoshi didn't seem to be his normal self during this leg of the tour, and by going to the concert I saw what she meant - Tegoshi was far less annoying this time around. For me, Annoying Tegoshi = normal Tegoshi, so seeing him being subdued and more calm / collected / quieter made me think something has definitely changed in the middle of the tour. I could sense it had something to do with the Line scandals he had been involved in for the past few weeks, but normally Tegoshi was strong enough to face this sort of things head-on, so seeing him in this state kind of unnerved me. Never have I seen a Tegoshi so... forced. As it turned out, the last concert finally gave us answers, but I'll leave that for my next concert report.

Sorry this has been too rushed! I hope I can do a better one for the last show of this tour! Hope I can get it down tomorrow without leaving anything out.

 
 
今ばしょで: Hiroshima
感じる: sleepysleepy
聞いている歌: NEWS - Distance
 
 
 
ヒマ 
There's only one phrase that can describe this concert.
It was simply amazing.

------------

I've been to the past two concerts, and while both White and Quartetto were special to me (White being the first NEWS tour I've gone to, and Quartetto having the musical style and motif/theme I really like), Neverland went even far beyond those two. It was completely different from every NEWS live I have watched and been to so far, in terms of stage layout, execution and sheer presence. I could tell that NEWS had poured every bit of creativity they had into making this concert perfect, and I am proud of them for it.

So where to start? XD

Prologue to my "Neverland"Collapse )


[2017.04.09] Marine Messe Fukuoka, 12:00 and 17:00Collapse )



As I've perhaps reiterated in this report over and over again, this concert had been freaking amazing and this has turned out to be my favorite concert ever! I'm so proud of NEWS and the effort and love they had poured into creating this masterpiece. I can't wait to see them next in Hiroshima and Tokyo!
 
 
今ばしょで: Hiroshima
感じる: happyhappy
聞いている歌: NEWS - U R not Alone
 
 
ヒマ 


I won't deny the fact that 2016 has been a very trying year, both physically and emotionally. The positive thing about it I guess is the fact that I have been distracted well enough to keep a mental breakdown at bay. In between wavering feelings, placement transfers and work environment changes, I had somehow kept myself afloat and held on to whatever sanity I had left. Despite stumbling awkwardly over some roadblocks, I learned some things - something I can at least be grateful for.

Points in brief bullets:


  • Most of the team has been replaced and work dynamics have changed so much. I would say that this year has been the most turbulent for me due to the work environment... but it seems safe for now. Also, I got offered a leader position, but I am still learning the ropes and I haven't been given a lot of responsibility, so I still don't feel like anything has changed. I'm not complaining, though.

  • Finally moved from Yamaguchi to Hiroshima. I had to get used to three new schools and to my new home as well. For now my schools are great; the kids are okay (though I still miss my Yamaguchi kids terribly) and my JTs are awesome. Here's hoping the pace will continue and they won't turn into bloody little monsters...

  • Traveled a bit more this year - went to more concert shows and spent more money trying to get around places along the way. I made the most out of Golden Week, Obon and Christmas break by going to more tourist spots, and I haven't been disappointed. But of course, my money evaporated into thin air as always... no regrets there, though.

  • On matters of the heart, I made drastic steps that didn't turn out well, but I have no regrets there as well.


No resolutions for 2017, but recently I have been thinking of doing some extra stuff to do, e.g. enroll myself in online courses and try getting a license, take some certification tests, or finally enroll in a gym and try to lose weight. It's still a bit farfetched though, as I know myself better and think that doing all of these is next to impossible. But we'll see if I can get to tick those things off my list at the end of the year.

The biggest realization about 2016 for me however, is me coming to realize how short life can be. In the last two months of the year - and even right now, to be honest - I've lost friends and relatives. It still feels surreal, to be honest. It feels weird to think again so consciously about life and death after such a long time.Maybe that's why recently I've found myself caring less about trivial things, and trying to do things that make me happy.

I'm not sure what 2017 will bring, but I can only hope I will manage to fulfill all my inner desires and not regret anything. It's going to be a long road, but hopefully I will gradually get there.



P.S. I'm writing this at a very critical time, so today's entry is a bit messy. I could have just postponed writing of course, but I don't want to do it because there's a very big chance I will become lazy and postpone it indefinitely, so yeah... but I'll be fine. I just need to overcome this.

 
 
 
今ばしょで: Hiroshima
感じる: numbnumb
聞いている歌: Tegomasu - Hanamuke
 
 
ヒマ 
21 December 2016 @ 02:10 am

"誰かに選んでほしい
ここにいて いいんだって
認めてほしい
それは贅沢なんだろうか?
みんな 誰かに必要とされたくて
でも うまくいかなくて
色んな気持ちを
ちょっとずつ諦めて
泣きたい気持ちを 笑い飛ばして
そうやって
生きているのかもしれない。"

I want someone to choose me.
Someone who'll say "it's a good thing you're here."
I want to be accepted.
I wonder if that's a luxury?
Everyone wants to be needed by someone.
But... it doesn't go well.
Gradually giving up on various emotions...
Laughing it off when you want to cry...
That's how I might be living.


”誰かを誠実に愛し続けることは
ものすごく大変なことなのかもしれない
人の気持ちは変えられないけれど
人生のハンドルを握るのは自分自身。”

Continuing to love someone sincerely might be a terribly difficult thing.
You can't change how someone feels, but
you're the one holding the steering wheel on your life.


- Moriyama Mikuri
Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu, episodes 1 and 8 -



恋をしたに君へCollapse )
 
 
今ばしょで: Hiroshima
感じる: sadsad
聞いている歌: Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu OST - Koi (instrumental)
 
 
ヒマ 

201.jpg 220.jpg
Thank you.

This year's tour finale is special to me in a lot of ways. Aside from my best friend who flew in all the way from my hometown to see me, I also had the chance to finally go to a NEWS concert with Filipino fans who were also from my hometown, both first-time concert goers. The pain in participating for the final, however, was slightly reminiscent of my very first NEWS concert last year, because like back then, I had done sightseeing for the first half of the day and ended up limping quite a bit when I got to the dome. This tour also gave me the opportunity to meet other fans who I interact only on Twitter and/or Line, so it was quite moving to see them at the dome.

So anyway, here's my report! Pic-heavy as usual and some other stuff. :D

[2016.06.12] Tokyo Dome, 18:00, Tour FinalCollapse )


And there you have it, my I-planned-this-to-be-short-but-it-ended-up-REALLY-long concert report! I'm pretty lucky I got to attend four out of its 18-or-so shows, even if I burned like most of my savings and now I'm pretty much back to zero, lmao. Will start saving again to be able to see my most favorite group in the entire world for their next live!
 
 
今ばしょで: Shunan, Yamaguchi
感じる: optimisticoptimistic
聞いている歌: NEWS - Departure
 
 
ヒマ 
Hiroshima! I cannot express enough how awesome it was. The venue was great and I really had fun during the final show of the Hiroshima run - mostly because, my friend's got arena tickets. ARENAAAAA! Sure, it isn't really that great when you had taller people around you, but we had a lot of opportunities to catch our idols' attention try to stand out from the already-rabid crowd get luckily spotted by NEWS and get some fanservice.

For White I had made an uchiwa but wasn't lucky enough to get spotted. For Quartetto in Fukuoka I only managed to bring along the one I made for the Arashi Japonism tour. With work and all procrastination, hahaha, I wasn't able to really make another uchiwa... that is, until the day itself. I didn't know exactly why, but despite being bummed and tired from work, I sat up all of a sudden and decided to make an uchiwa at 1 am on the concert day itself.

I had a bunch of uchiwa ideas swirling in my head days before, but they all ended up forgotten the moment I decided to make an uchiwa for real ("Massu, you have a character though!" being one of them inspired from Hen Rabo's fourth episode). All I remember was a friend's uchiwa from last year about NEWS as strawberries... so I kind of stole that idea and started drawing a huge strawberry. And so this happened.

Yes you can start suing me for non-originality / uchiwa plagiarism, if there's even such a thing.


It was raining in Hiroshima, so as you can imagine it was quite a bit of a burden trying to bring an umbrella along with the luggage. Didn't help that the coin lockers were all full thanks to tourists + fangirls. Even with the rain, most of the fans still managed to put effort into their concert attire! And reasoning out that we were supposed to be really quite close, my friend handed me two more uchiwas with マ and ス on them (they were part of a four-uchiwa message that spelt out テゴマス), plus a pair of sunglasses with the same kana letters.

We got into the venue around 20 or so minutes before the concert started, and to our amazement we were only four rows from the main stage! Armed with now four uchiwas held back-to-back マス pair, my strawberry one, and Massu's Quartetto uchiwa), we awaited the show.

The setlist is still the same as the one for Fukuoka. I won't be giving a lot of detail here, as most of them were already in my Fukuoka concert report. Most of the new details are found in this show's MC. Please take this report with a grain of salt, as always.

[2016.05.29] Hiroshima Green Arena, 16:00Collapse )





Same with the other prior shows, NEWS didn't have a double encore for Hiroshima as well. It made me think how it would go for the dome, and if there is a slim chance the dome would have a bigger surprise in store. Unlike White which had the exclusive preview of their then-to-be-released Chumu Chumu single, Quartetto doesn't have a single announcement (yet) that would increase the chances of a double encore. Still, them filming the final arena show gives me hope that perhaps, they will do things differently in the dome (kind of like Arashi's Dome vs Kokuritsu for the Scene tour). I know I shouldn't expect, but I want to believe! We'll see how it goes next week! :D

 
 
今ばしょで: Shunan, Yamaguchi
感じる: amusedamused
聞いている歌: Arashi - To Be Free